Author’s Note:

Recently, I wrote a post about a record store experience that made me recognize and appreciate the process and journey that I am on. That post sparked a series through which God is continuing to lead and speak through something as simple as a stack of vinyls. Here is part six of “For the Record.”

Setting the Record Straight

In my last post, I mentioned the records that are the soundtrack of my childhood. These are the songs and albums that take me back and help me remember the days gone by. They help me remember dancing in the living room, singing at the top of my lungs, and laughing until my sides hurt. They help me remember oyster roasts in the backyard, road trips to the beach or an amusement park, and family gatherings around holidays or special occasions. It seems that our memories can get attached to a song in the same way they can get attached to a smell. For me, a good melody can turn a distant memory into a movie scene played in my mind as clearly as if I were living it again.

As I listen to these songs and let the music draw me into those memories, I often find myself smiling; that is, until the confusion sets in.

If you know me, you know that my childhood was not all butterflies and unicorns. Many of the experiences of those years were painful and extremely difficult to live through. There were more dark days than I care to count and there was more sadness than I would wish on anyone. As my brain replays these highlights, I can’t help but remember the hurt from the other moments and the scars that are often still visible.

How can I have these moments where I look back with fondness and allow a smile to cross my face and yet, recognize the fact that there was so much pain through it all?

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I doubt I am alone in the way I look at experiences. I have a tendency to categorize every experience in my life as either positive or negative. Good or bad. There is often no in-between, no middle ground, or no partial credit. It’s one extreme or the other. I have a tendency to apply this to everything. Whether it’s a meal, an album, a concert, or a movie; it was good, or it was bad. And there have been seasons where I have been guilty of doing this with my childhood. I, like many others, have let the negative experiences overshadow the positive ones with such intensity that it’s as if those positive experiences and meaningful moments didn’t exist.

Lately, I’ve been collecting stories and jotting down memories as they come. Many of those stories and memories have served as inspiration for this blog and my podcast. And just like my record collection, those stories have taught me a few lessons that have helped me look at my past in a different light.

First, I can use my past and my pain to help others heal. The things I’ve been through can be the tools in the hands of the Lord that help someone overcome their painful situation. When we look across the table from someone walking through a painful situation and say, “I’ve been there, I know how you feel, I am here for you,” we are able to show the love of Jesus in a tangible way. How can you use your own pain to help someone process theirs?

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Second, I am reminded that we have to remember the good times; because there were good times. If I focused solely on the negative and painful experiences of my childhood, I would forget about my first trip to Disney World, I would forget about the first time I played in actual snow in Charleston and I would forget about waking up on Christmas morning to see the mountain of presents under the tree. Even in the most painful situations, there will be moments in which God whispers, “I see you and I am with you.” Each bright spot scattered across a dismal landscape is a moment where God is shining a little light in what can look like complete darkness.

Finally, I was reminded that the things that happened back then were not my fault, but what I do next is my responsibility. I can’t change the past. No one can. But what we can do is work for a better future. Learn from the past and let it challenge and motivate you to build a better future. Victor Frankl, Austrian psychiatrist and holocaust survivor said, “Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.” Where we go from here is ours to choose. So, will you continue to carry the weight and the burdens of your past or will you choose to lay them down and run forward in all God has called you to?

My record collection has taught me quite a few things over the last few weeks. The latest of which is that things are rarely all awesome or all terrible. Even my favorite albums have a song or two I’d like to skip. In the same way, our lives have ups and downs. No matter where you are, God has a purpose and plan in all of it. Allow Him to use every season and every moment for His glory.

As we reflect on the mix of experiences in our lives, I invite you to share in the comments below: What’s one memory or song that instantly transports you back to a cherished moment from your past? How can you use your own journey, with its ups and downs, to inspire and support others on their path to healing and growth? Let’s create a community of shared experiences and shared wisdom, lifting each other up as we move forward into the future. I’d love to hear your stories.

Notes:

*This post is part of a series of posts called “For the Record.” This series is all about what I have learned through the hobby of collecting vinyl records. “For the Record” captures the heart of what the “This Awesome Life” blog and podcast is all about; hearing God speak through everyday moments. Use the links below to read the other posts in this series:

Part 1: The Thrill of the Hunt.
Part 2: Going All In.
Part 3: No Skips
Part 4: No Turning Back
Part 5: Weight for It