Every Thursday I feature a “throwback” post from my blog archive. The goal is to look back and discover new lessons or opportunities to grow. This week, we’ll look at “The Social Media Dilemma” You can view the original post here. For today, here’s a quick recap and a few more thoughts about using our words well.
Encouraging people can be a weird thing. It can be weird to give encouragement to someone else because of all of the voices in our heads that tell us we’re going to mess it up. If I say you look nice today will your response be, “Do I not look nice everyday?” If I tell someone that they did a great job at work will they thing, “Do I not normally do a great job?” “What’s wrong with the work I do everyday?”
On the other side, it can also be weird or difficult to receive encouragement. If you are anything like me, when someone encourages you, your immediate response is to give reasons why that encouragement is not true, deflect said encouragement, or completely change the subject and pretend the conversation never happened. I don’t really understand why but for some reason, a lot of us have a hard time being encouraged or celebrated.
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I remember a time quite a few years ago when someone tried to compliment me on my growth as a pastor. The attendance in our program was growing and more and more students were getting connected to Jesus and life-giving relationships. One of my leaders said some really nice things to me and thanked me for my hard work. I deflected so hard that I saw her face change. A few weeks later, she came to celebrate something with me again. This time, she used extreme caution and even ended the compliment with the deflective statement I had used before. I made it so awkward for her to encourage me that she was literally afraid to do it. Why are we like this?
Honestly, I think it’s because as people, we just don’t give or receive encouragement enough. We don’t give it enough so when we do, people tend to wonder if it’s genuine. They wait for a cutting punchline to follow or a, “But you really should…” statement to follow. How can we change this? It’s actually pretty simple. You change your surroundings by changing yourself.
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One of the goals I am working on right now is to intentionally encourage 365 people by the end of this year. That’s one word of encouragement everyday this year. According to my goal tracker, I have encouraged 208 people so far in 2023. There’s a funny thing about this “stat” though: It’s not accurate. I know its not accurate because I know there have been days when I have encouraged more than one person. It’s finally started to become a habit for me. I have begun to look for things to celebrate and ways to encourage people. I am not perfect in this by any stretch of the imagination. I still have moments where I say things that are less than encouraging and truthfully, I can still be a complete jerk sometimes. It’s a work in progress. But that’s the point, progress.
Today, let me encourage you to encourage the people around you. There is an old leadership principle that says you find what you look for. If you are looking for the best in people, you will find it. So, start looking for the greatness that the people in your life show every day. When you see it, call it out, celebrate it, let it be weird, and then keep doing it until it’s not weird anymore.
What if as a culture we started celebrating people instead of tearing them down? Honestly, a lot would change for the better. So, let’s do it. Let’s build others up. And let’s become known as encouragers to those around us. Oh, and when someone encourages you, don’t be weird about it. Receive the compliment, say thank you, and move on with your day a little more encouraged.
Who can you celebrate today? Send them a text and tell them why they’re awesome. Even better, invite them out for coffee and say it to their face!
BrandonHair.me 
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