It was the week of Thanksgiving, and my family was stuck at home for a few days. My oldest daughter was sick with the flu and there was some bad weather happening in Omaha that made leaving the house a bit treacherous. About 3 days into this sort of “house arrest,” everyone was getting bored. I was sitting on the couch, probably playing a video game, or binge-watching some TV show when my youngest daughter approached me and asked if we could make cupcakes. My immediate reaction was “I don’t want to,” but I didn’t want to say that because that answer never suffices for an eight-year-old with a plan. Instead, I attempted to appeal to logic and told her that, sadly, we didn’t have the ingredients to make cupcakes.
While it was true that the weather was bad that day, a trip to the store wasn’t completely off the table. However, it was definitely something to be avoided. Undeterred, she responded with, “Well, can we make cookies?” Again, I responded, “Sorry, I don’t think we have the stuff to make cookies either.” There was my error; the word “think.” Immediately her spirit of persistence kicked in and said, “Well will you check.” Now she had me cornered. I had to, at minimum, dig around in the cabinets and move a few things to convince her that we in fact could not make cookies. There was no turning back now, I had fallen right into her trap because, as it turned out, we did have the ingredients for cookies… sort of.
Of course, the preference would have been to make chocolate chip cookies but, we were out of chocolate chips. A quick inventory of her Halloween candy stash confirmed that we didn’t even have enough plain chocolate candy to attempt a creative substitute. We ended up making a simple sugar cookie instead. After digging a little deeper in the cabinets, we even found some bright pink sprinkles to really take these cookies to the next level.
I realized something that changed my perspective that day. I realized that my daughter was never asking me to bake. Instead, she was asking to be part of my life and part of my day. “Dad, can we make cupcakes?” was her way of asking, “Can we make a memory?”
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If you are a parent, our kids are regularly asking this question. Can we make a memory? Can we share an experience that helps me feel connected to you and helps me feel like I am a part of your life? They may say, “Will you color with me?” but they’re actually asking, “Am I worth your creativity?” They may say, “Do you want to know something?” and then proceed to share a 15-minute synopsis of their favorite 4-minute YouTube video, but they are asking, “Am I worth your time?” They may not say anything at all and instead disrupt, misbehave, or be generally difficult to get along with, but they are actually asking, “Am I worth loving even when I don’t act loveable?”
My daughter had all these questions and many more swirling around in her little heart when she asked if we could make cupcakes. I almost missed the opportunity to scream, “YES! You are worth my time, my energy, my creativity, and my love.” I am not perfect at this. Unfortunately, I miss these opportunities regularly. I miss chances to check out her latest house that she’s built in Roblox, I miss chances to sit on the floor and stack Lego bricks, I miss chances to dance, and sing, and make up silly songs and I pray that God gives me the wisdom and the vision to catch these chances more often. Each of these moments are chances to turn the ordinary into the epic. Each of these moments are chances to deepen our relationship, build trust, and point her to Jesus.
So, if you are a parent, look for opportunities to say yes even when it feels like an interruption. Look for opportunities to engage your child in their space on their terms. Look for opportunities to step into their world and be a supporting cast member in the stories they are creating.
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Even if you’re not a parent there are probably others in your life that are asking the same thing. Maybe they are your friends’ kids, your neighbors, or a niece or nephew. Look for ways to engage with them in the seemingly small details of their lives. Connect with them regularly to communicate that they are worth your time, energy, creativity, and your love. When it comes to the next generation, especially the little ones, what often seems like a long and arduous journey across a terrain abundant with rabbit trails and sidetracks is a child that just wants someone to say, “I’m here for you.”
Let me tell you a secret, the cookies my daughter and I made that day, were not very good. To be able to make cookies at all, I had to find a recipe for “Four Ingredient Sugar Cookies.” Those ingredients were sugar, butter, flour, and vanilla. The vanilla was optional. Making the dough was a serious challenge and after they baked and cooled, they were very hard and way too crunchy. As cookies go, these left a lot to be desired. But I quickly found out, my daughter did not care at all. She loved those cookies. She ate one for dessert every night and asked for one for her school lunch every day. She didn’t love them because they were the best cookies in the world, she loved them because she made them and because she made them with me. There may be days when you feel like you don’t have much to offer. That’s where I was that day. But we’re not called to have all the answers, all the gifts, or all the ingredients. We are simply called to be faithful with what we do have.
When it comes to connecting with kids, It’s not about the quality of the product. Instead, it’s about the quality of the relationship. When you step into a kid’s world and give them your time, your attention, and your love, you give them some of the best days ever. You show them that they have worth and value and are worthy of love. You get to give them a small glimpse of what God is like by being a tangible representation of his love and care. And best of all, you get to help them take one more step towards building a foundation for a faith that will last. This week what can you do to help a child around you experience that level of connection? How can you raise the quality of relationships and connection?
BrandonHair.me 
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