My family loves road trips. More accurately we love vacations and often driving with four people makes the most sense. On our last trip, we drove to Charleston, SC to celebrate my wife’s grandmother’s 100th birthday, then to Disney World in Florida, and then back home to Nebraska. The trip was amazing, and we got to spend a lot of time together laughing, singing way too loud in the car, and making memories. On that trip we spent over 40 hours in the car!

On day one, our trip got off to a great start. Our plan was to drive from Omaha to Knoxville, Tennessee, stop for the night, and then hit the road bright getting us to Charleston by early afternoon. The plan was flawless.

As evening set in, we were just outside of Nashville and needed to stop for gas and food. As we exited the highway and pulled into a drive thru, our situation changed. A dash light alerted us that there was a problem with our battery. A quick test at an auto parts store showed that our alternator was dead. We were going nowhere. Suddenly our perfect plans were experiencing a major setback.

All we could do was get the car towed to a repair shop and wait until morning. The next day we got in touch with the shop and explained our situation. They got to work fixing the car as quickly as they could. With no car and the looming reality of a major car repair bill hanging in our minds, all we could do was wait. We killed time by sitting in the hotel lobby, walking to a neighboring shopping center, and stressing about the price tag on this alternator situation. Around 3 pm we finally got the call that the car was ready. I took an Uber to the mechanic and very sadly handed over my debit card to pay the bill. Ouch.

Thankfully, the rest of the trip was smooth sailing. We had a blast seeing family in Charleston and Disney was, well, Disney. But that day in Nashville felt like a total loss.

We’ve all had days that felt like total losses right? They’re the days where situations beyond our control derail our perfectly laid plans and set you back. They’re the days where you find yourself asking, “Why is this happening?” or “How will I get past this?”

Let me tell you how I made it through that day.

First, reframe the story. My oldest daughter has this weird obsession with wanting to get lost and have to stay at an old hotel in the middle of nowhere. I don’t know where that comes from. When I realized we were stranded, I took a minute to breath, think about how I could bring peace and comfort to my family, and I reframed the story. I opened the car door, smiled big and said, “Girls, it’s time for an adventure.” Did that fix the situation? No. But it helped us to reframe the situation and begin to look for ways to experience it in a different light. It framed our situation as adventure instead of desperation.

Second, appreciate the pause. No one likes a setback. And most people don’t like being forced to wait. But in these moments, we have to appreciate the pause and ask ourselves how can we use this time to prepare for what’s to come. Personally, I am not the most socially proficient person when I am tired. Our original plan had us arriving in Charleston after being completely maxed out the two days prior. We were headed into a huge milestone occasion where we would be surrounded by a lot of family and friends. For me, that pause gave me the rest I needed to be present and available to my family.

Finally, adjust and move forward. There was nothing we could do that day except wait. We lost an entire day from our plans and ended up driving very late at night to get back on track. But we did get back on track. As I said before, our trip was amazing. That’s because we didn’t let our setback rob us of the experience. We adjusted and we moved forward.

I am not perfect at this by any means. I have had setbacks in my life that I have allowed to completely rob me of my joy. I have wasted experiences because I allowed a negative part to overshadow the whole and I have let minor inconveniences steal major blessings. But there is more for us when we push through adversity. Remember to reframe, pause, and adjust. There is joy on the other side.